Two Mothers Remembered

– Joann Snow Duncanson

I had two Mothers two Mothers I claim

Two different people, yet with the same name.

Two separate women, diverse by design,

But I loved them both because they were mine.

The first was the Mother who carried me here,

Gave birth and nurtured and launched my career.

She was the one whose features I bear,

Complete with the facial expressions I wear.

She gave me her love, which follows me yet,

Along with the examples in life she set.

As I got older, she somehow younger grew,

And we’d laugh as just Mothers and daughters do.

But then came the time that her mind clouded so,

And I sensed that the Mother I knew would soon go.

So quickly she changed and turned into the other,

A stranger who dressed in the clothes of my Mother.

Oh, she looked the same, at least at arm’s length,

But now she was the child and I was her strength.

We’d come full circle, we women three,

My mother the first, the second and me.

And if my own children should come to a day,

When a new Mother comes and the old goes away,

I’d ask of them nothing that I didn’t do.

Love both of your Mothers as both have loved you.

দুই জন মা স্মরণে
– জোয়ান স্নো ডানকানসন

আমার ছিল দু‘জন মা — দু‘জন মা, আমি দাবি করি,
দুইজন ভিন্ন মানুষ, তবুও এক নাম তাঁদের পরিচয়ধারী।
দুইটি আলাদা নারী, ভিন্নভাবে গঠিত,
তবুও দু‘জনকেই ভালোবাসতাম, কারণ তাঁরা ছিলেন আমার নিজস্ব।

প্রথম মা যিনি আমাকে এই পৃথিবীতে এনেছেন,
জন্ম দিয়েছেন, লালন–পালন করেছেন, আর আমার পথচলা শুরু করিয়েছেন।
আমার চেহারায় তাঁরই ছাপ,
আমার মুখভঙ্গি, হাসি — সব তাঁর থেকেই পাওয়া।

তিনি আমাকে ভালোবাসা দিয়েছেন, যা এখনও আমাকে ঘিরে রাখে,
সাথে দিয়েছেন জীবনের শিক্ষা, যা এখনও আমার সঙ্গে থাকে।
যত বড় হয়েছি, মনে হয়েছে তিনিও যেন তরুণী হয়ে উঠছেন,
আমরা হাসতাম, একসঙ্গে — মা–মেয়ের মতো, বন্ধু হয়ে যেন।

কিন্তু এক সময় এলো, যখন তাঁর মনে ছায়া নামল,
আর আমি অনুভব করলাম, যাঁকে আমি চিনি, তিনি আর থাকবেন না বলেই যেন ভাবল।
হঠাৎ করেই তিনি বদলে গেলেন, হয়ে উঠলেন অন্য এক নারী,
একজন অপরিচিত, যিনি আমার মায়ের জামা পরিহিত ভারি।

ওহ, দূর থেকে দেখলে তিনি একেবারে আগের মতো,
কিন্তু এখন তিনি যেন শিশুর মতো, আর আমি হয়েছি তাঁর শক্তি–ভরসার আলো।
আমরা তিনজন নারী যেন ঘুরে এলাম এক পূর্ণ বৃত্তে,
আমি, আমার মা, আর তাঁর স্মৃতির শেষ সীমান্তে।

আমার মা – প্রথম, দ্বিতীয় – আর আমি।
আর যদি কোনোদিন আমার সন্তানদের জীবনে আসে সেই দিন,
যখন নতুন একটি মা আসে আর পুরনোটি চলে যায়,
আমি তাদের কাছে কিছুই চাইব না যা আমি নিজে করিনি।
তোমার দুই মাকেই ভালোবাসো, যেমন করে দু’জনেই তোমাকে ভালোবেসেছে।

Theme (মূলভাব) in English:

The poem shows the deep love between a daughter and her mother. It also tells how a daughter takes care of her mother when she grows old and forgetful. The mother becomes like a child, and the daughter becomes her guide. The poem teaches us to love and care for our parents, even when they change with age.

বাংলায় মূলভাব:

এই কবিতাটি একটি মেয়ে ও তার মায়ের গভীর ভালোবাসার কথা বলে। কবিতায় দেখা যায়, যখন মা বুড়ো হয়ে যান এবং সব ভুলে যেতে থাকেন, তখন মেয়ে তাকে আগলে রাখে। মা তখন যেন একটি শিশুর মতো হয়ে যান, আর মেয়ে হয় তার ভরসা। এই কবিতা আমাদের শেখায়—বয়স হলে মা–বাবাকে ভালোবাসা ও যত্ন দেওয়া আমাদের দায়িত্ব।

Summary (সারাংশ) in English:

The poet talks about having “two Mothers”—but both are the same person. The first mother is the one who gave birth, cared for her, and loved her deeply. She was full of joy, laughter, and strength. As time passed, the mother became old and her mind changed. She started forgetting things and became like a child. Now, the daughter took care of her, just like the mother did when the daughter was young. The poet says that this is a circle of life. At the end, she asks her own children to love her in both stages—just like she loved her own mother in both forms.

বাংলায় সারাংশ:

কবিতায় কবি বলেন, তার “দুটি মা” ছিল—কিন্তু তারা একই মানুষ। প্রথম মা তাকে জন্ম দেন, ভালোবাসেন এবং বড় করেন। তারা একসাথে হাসি–আনন্দ ভাগ করে নেন। কিন্তু সময়ের সাথে মা বৃদ্ধ হন, এবং তার মন ধীরে ধীরে দুর্বল হয়ে পড়ে। তখন মা যেন একটি শিশুর মতো হয়ে যান। মেয়ে তখন মায়ের যত্ন নিতে শুরু করে। কবি বলেন, এটা জীবনচক্রের একটি অংশ। শেষে, তিনি তার সন্তানদের বলেন—যেমন তিনি তার মাকে দুই অবস্থায় ভালোবেসেছেন, তেমন তার সন্তানরাও যেন তাকেও ভালোবাসে।

1. What is the title of the poem?
   The title is Two Mothers Remembered. It reflects the poet’s experience of her mother changing over time.
2. Who wrote the poem?
   The poet is Joann Snow Duncanson. She wrote it as a tribute to her mother’s journey through aging and memory loss.
3. How many mothers does the poet claim?
   The poet claims two mothers. They are two versions of the same person—before and after illness.
4. Why does the poet say she had two mothers?
   Because her mother changed drastically with age and memory loss. She became like a different person.
5. What were the two mothers like?
   They were different people in personality and behavior. Yet both were deeply loved by the poet.
6. What did the first mother do?
   She gave birth, nurtured the poet, and helped start her life. She was a strong role model and teacher.
7. What does the poet say about her appearance?
   She bears her mother’s features and expressions. It shows a deep physical and emotional connection.
8. What did the first mother give her?
   She gave her love and life lessons. Those remained even after her mother changed.
9. How did their relationship evolve with time?
   As the poet grew older, her mother seemed to grow younger. They became close, laughing and enjoying time together.
10. What caused the change in her mother?
    Her mother’s mind became clouded. This suggests memory loss or dementia.
11. What did the poet sense about her mother?
    She sensed that her real mother would soon be gone. It was a painful realization.
12. What transformation occurred in the mother?
    She turned into a different person. Though she looked the same, she acted like a child.
13. What did the new mother look like?
    She looked the same as before, from a distance.But her behavior and mind had changed.
14. Who became the strong one in the relationship?
    The poet did. She became the caregiver and source of strength.
15. What is the meaning of “full circle” in the poem?
    It means roles reversed—child became parent. Life returned to its beginning phase.
16. What emotions does the poet express?
    Love, sadness, and acceptance. She mourns the loss while cherishing the bond.
17. What is the tone of the poem?
    Tender, reflective, and bittersweet. It’s filled with love and quiet sorrow.
18. Why does the poet say her mother became a child?
    Because she lost her memory and independence. She relied on the poet for support.
19. What remains even after the mother changes?
    Her love and the example she set. These are lasting gifts.
20. What is the central theme of the poem?
    The enduring love between mother and daughter. It explores how relationships evolve with age and illness.
21. What disease is implied in the poem?
    Dementia or Alzheimer’s is suggested. The mother’s mind becomes clouded and childlike.
22. What does the poem say about aging?
    That it can bring unexpected and painful changes. But love can endure through them.
23. How does the poet show acceptance?
    By still loving both versions of her mother. She finds meaning in both experiences.
24. Why is the same name mentioned?
    Both mothers share the same name and identity. But they are emotionally different.
25. What role does memory play in the poem?
    Memory connects the two versions of the mother. Its loss is what divides them.
26. What kind of relationship did they share before the change?
    They were like friends, laughing together. It was a joyful and close bond.
27. How did the poet feel as her mother changed?
    She felt sad and helpless. But she remained devoted.
28. Why is clothing mentioned in the poem?
    To show that the outside remained the same. But the person inside had changed.
29. What does “she looked the same at arm’s length” mean?
    From the outside, nothing seemed wrong. But closer up, the change was obvious.
30. What literary device is used in “full circle”?
    It symbolizes the reversal of roles.
31. What is meant by “I was her strength”?
    The poet became the caregiver. She supported her mother emotionally and physically.
32. What does the poet miss most about her old mother?
    Her companionship and personality. The familiar bond is deeply missed.
33. What is symbolized by the two mothers?
    The contrast between youth and aging. It reflects the dual nature of long-term caregiving.
34. What happens to identity in the poem?
    It shifts as memory fades. The mother becomes someone new.
35. Why is the poem deeply emotional?
    Because it deals with loss and unconditional love. It captures the pain of watching a loved one change.
36. What lesson can readers take from the poem?
    That love adapts even when people change. Compassion is key in caregiving.
37. What do the “features” the poet bears represent?
    A deep bond with her mother. They are both physical and emotional.
38. How does the poet honor her mother?
    By remembering and loving both versions. She accepts the full journey.
39. What does “diverse by design” suggest?
    That the two mothers were different by nature. It emphasizes the change in personality.
40. How did the poet’s career begin?
    Her first mother helped launch it. She provided guidance and support.
41. What kind of examples did the mother set?
    Positive life lessons. They remained even after her mental decline.
42. Why is laughter mentioned in the poem?
    To show the joy of their past bond. It makes the later loss more poignant.
43. What does “so quickly she changed” suggest?
    The decline was rapid. The poet was caught off guard.
44. How does the poem use repetition?
    In the line “I had two Mothers.” It emphasizes the emotional shift.
45. What does the poem say about caregiving?
    It’s a reversal of roles. Children often become caregivers in old age.
46. Why is the poem significant for adult children?
    It reflects their experience with aging parents. They often feel this emotional journey.
47. What is the poem’s structure?
    It is free verse. There is no strict rhyme, but deep rhythm and flow.
48. How do readers relate to the poem?
    Through shared experiences of love and loss. It is universal in emotion.
49. What does the poem teach about identity?
    That identity can change over time. But love remains a constant.
50. Why is the poem titled “Two Mothers Remembered”?
    Because it honors both versions of her mother. The title reflects memory, change, and love.
51. Who are the three people mentioned in the first line?
    The speaker mentions her first mother, her second mother, and herself. They represent different stages of the mother’s life and the daughter’s relationship with her.
52. What does the poet mean by “the first” and “the second”?
    “The first” refers to the mother she knew before illness or aging, and “the second” refers to the changed mother. These represent the emotional and mental shift that can come with aging or dementia.
53. Who is the speaker in the poem?
    The speaker is a daughter reflecting on her experience with her mother. She has witnessed her mother change over time and draws meaning from it.
54. What change is the poet talking about?
    She describes a shift in her mother’s identity due to aging or illness. This change caused the mother to seem like a different person.
55. Why does the speaker mention her own children?
    She imagines that one day her children might experience a similar situation with her. It shows the cyclical nature of life and caregiving.
56. What does the poet anticipate will happen to her one day?
    She believes she might also transform into a different version of herself with age. Her children may then have to adjust to this new version of their mother.
57. What request does the poet make to her children?
    She asks them to love both versions of their mother. This mirrors the love she gave her own mother through all stages.
58. Why does the poet say she wouldn’t ask for anything she didn’t do?
    She wants to show that her request is fair and rooted in her own experience. She has already lived the lesson she hopes her children will follow.
59. What is the significance of the phrase “love both of your Mothers”?
    It means to love both the vibrant, younger version and the aged or ill version. This phrase acknowledges the emotional difficulty of loving through change.
60. What theme does this stanza explore?
    The poem explores themes of love, aging, memory, and familial duty. It shows how love transcends physical and mental changes.
61. What does the poet mean by “when the new Mother comes”?
    She refers to the change in personality or behavior that may occur with age. It’s a poetic way of describing a shift caused by illness or time.
62. Why might the “old Mother” go away?
    Due to aging or mental illness, like dementia, the familiar personality fades. The person physically remains, but their essence seems different.
63. How does the poet feel about the changes she witnessed in her mother?
    She expresses understanding, sadness, and acceptance. The poem shows her emotional strength in coping with those changes.
64. What does the speaker hope her children will learn from her?
    She hopes they’ll learn to love selflessly and accept change. It’s a lesson passed through generations.
65. Who is the poem intended for?
    The poem is addressed to the speaker’s children and readers experiencing similar situations. It carries a universal message about love and caregiving.
66. How is the idea of a “circle” suggested in the poem?
    The speaker once cared for her mother and now may be cared for by her children. This suggests life’s caregiving cycle.
67. What kind of love is the poet emphasizing?
    She emphasizes unconditional and enduring love. It’s a love that survives even when identities shift.
68. How does the poet want to be treated in her old age?
    She wants to be loved and accepted in all her forms. This reflects the compassion she gave her own mother.
69. What lesson does the speaker pass on to her children?
    To love both versions of their mother as both will love them. It’s a request rooted in empathy and gratitude.
70. What emotion does this stanza evoke?
    It evokes tenderness, reflection, and a deep sense of familial love. The message is both personal and universally relatable.

71. Who wrote the poem “Two Mothers Remembered”?

Joann Snow Duncanson wrote the poem. It reflects her experience of caring for her aging mother and the emotional duality of their relationship.

72. Who are the “two Mothers” mentioned in the poem?

The speaker’s biological mother and the same mother after aging alters her mentally. Both represent different phases of the same person’s life.

73. What physical traits does the speaker inherit from her first mother?

The speaker inherits her mother’s facial features and expressions. These traits symbolize their biological and emotional connection.

74. What happened to the first mother’s mental state over time?

Her mind “clouded,” likely due to dementia or illness. This transformed her into a childlike figure reliant on the speaker.

75. How does the relationship between the speaker and her mother change?

The mother transitions from caregiver to dependent, and the daughter becomes her strength. Their roles reverse completely as the mother ages.

76. Why does the speaker call the aged mother a “stranger”?

The mother’s personality and behavior became unrecognizable due to mental decline. Though physically familiar, she feels like a different person.

77. What lesson does the speaker want her children to learn?

To love both versions of a parent if faced with similar aging challenges. She urges them to mirror the unconditional love they received.

78. When does the speaker realize her mother is changing irreversibly?

When she senses her mother’s mind “clouded so” and foresees her departure. This marks the shift to the second mother’s emergence.

79. Where does the speaker find strength to care for her altered mother?

In the love and examples her first mother gave her. This legacy of care guides her through the role reversal.

80. How does the poem use the metaphor of “full circle”?

It symbolizes the life cycle: the daughter becomes the caregiver, just as her mother once was. Three generations reflect the inevitability of change.

81. What emotion dominates the poem’s tone?

Bittersweet reflection, blending gratitude for the past and sorrow for loss. Love persists despite the mother’s transformation.

82. Why does the speaker emphasize her mothers’ shared name?

To highlight that identity remains even as roles shift. The name ties both versions of her mother into one lifelong relationship.

83. How does the mother’s laughter with the speaker evolve?

Initially, they laugh as equals, but later the laughter fades as the mother declines. Joyful memories contrast with the pain of her absence.

84. What does “launched my career” symbolize in the poem?

The mother nurturing the speaker’s growth into adulthood. “Career” represents her journey into independence, supported by her mother.

85. Why is the second mother described as wearing “the clothes of my Mother”?

To show the outward familiarity masking inner change. The mother’s physical presence contrasts with her altered mental state.

86. How does the poem address the theme of identity?

It explores how a person can become “two” due to aging. Identity is tied to both memory and evolving relationships.

87. What societal issue is reflected in the mother’s mental decline?

The challenges of caring for elderly parents with dementia. The poem calls for empathy in navigating such role reversals.

88. How does the speaker’s love for her mothers differ?

For the first mother, it’s gratitude; for the second, it’s protective care. Both forms of love are rooted in loyalty and legacy.

89. What literary device is used in “we’d laugh as just Mothers and daughters do”?

Familiar imagery to depict universal mother-daughter bonds. The simplicity contrasts with later emotional complexity.

90. Why does the speaker mention her own children in the final stanza?To pass on wisdom about loving aging parents unconditionally. She hopes they’ll uphold the same compassion she demonstrated.
91. What does “complete with the facial expressions I wear” reveal?

The deep physical and emotional resemblance between mother and daughter. It underscores their unbreakable connection.

93. How does time affect the mother-daughter relationship?
94. Time inverts their roles: the mother grows younger in dependence, the daughter older in responsibility. Their bond adapts but endures.
95. What does the “stranger” metaphor symbolize?

The erasure of the mother’s former self through illness. It represents grief for the person lost to mental decline.

96. How does the poem use contrast to convey its message?

Juxtaposing the mother’s strength and vulnerability, youth and age. These contrasts emphasize life’s cyclical nature.

97. Why is the poem titled Two Mothers Remembered?

To honor both versions of the mother: the nurturer and the dependent. The title encapsulates duality and enduring love.

98. What role does memory play in the poem?

Memory connects the speaker to her mother’s original self. It also highlights the tragedy of the mother’s fading recollections.

99. How does the speaker view her duty toward her aged mother?

As a natural extension of love, not obligation. She embraces caregiving as repayment for her mother’s earlier sacrifices.

100. What does the line “And I sensed that the Mother I knew would soon go” foreshadow?

The impending loss of the mother’s original identity. It conveys anticipatory grief and acceptance of change.

101. How does the poem depict unconditional love?

Through the speaker’s devotion to both versions of her mother. Love persists even when the relationship becomes challenging.

102. What does “we women three” refer to?

The first mother, the second mother, and the speaker. It acknowledges the three stages: caregiver, dependent, and legacy-bearer.

103. How does the mother’s appearance deceive the speaker?

She looks the same “at arm’s length” but behaves like a stranger. Outer familiarity masks inner transformation.

104. What does the poem suggest about aging?

Aging is inevitable and can erase a person’s former self. Yet love must adapt to sustain relationships through such changes.

105. How does the speaker’s perspective shift by the poem’s end?

From personal reflection to generational advice. She transitions from daughter to mother, emphasizing cyclical care.

106. What does the repetition of “two Mothers” emphasize?

The duality and significance of both relationships. It reinforces the poem’s exploration of identity and change.

107. How does the poem use clothing as symbolism?

The mother’s clothes represent her unchanged exterior. They contrast with her altered mind, symbolizing the hidden inner decline.

108. What does the speaker mean by “diverse by design”?

The two mothers differ due to life’s natural progression, not choice. Time and illness redesign their relationship.

109. How does the poem handle the theme of legacy?

The mother’s love becomes a legacy the speaker passes to her children. Caregiving is framed as a inherited duty of love.

110. What emotional conflict does the speaker face?Loving the mother she knew while accepting the “stranger” she became. The conflict balances grief and compassion.
111. How does the poem’s structure mirror its message?

Stanzas progress from youth to age, mirroring the mother’s decline. The cyclical structure reflects life’s inevitable phases.

113. What does the line “I loved them both because they were mine” reveal?

The speaker’s unconditional acceptance of both versions. Love transcends the mother’s changing identity.

114. How does the poem challenge traditional motherhood roles?By portraying a mother who becomes dependent, reversing caregiving norms. It redefines strength as adaptability in love.
115. What does the speaker’s advice to her children imply about generational cycles?

That aging and caregiving are universal experiences. Each generation must learn to navigate role reversals with grace.

117. How is strength redefined in the poem?

Strength shifts from the mother’s nurturing to the daughter’s resilience. It’s portrayed as emotional endurance, not physical power.

118. What does the phrase “launched my career” suggest about motherhood?

That mothers empower children to pursue independence. “Career” symbolizes the child’s journey beyond the mother’s care.

119. How does the poem balance sorrow and hope?

It grieves the mother’s decline but celebrates enduring love. Hope lies in the speaker’s children continuing the legacy.

120. What does the mother’s “younger” spirit represent early in the poem?

A playful, evolving relationship as the speaker matures. It hints at the mother’s eventual vulnerability.

121. How does the poem use the metaphor of a journey?

Life is a journey where roles reverse, and love adapts. The mother-daughter relationship travels “full circle.”

122. What does the speaker’s final request to her children emphasize?

The importance of empathy and continuity in family bonds. Love should transcend changing circumstances.

123. How does the poem depict the passage of time?

Time is both a force of connection and loss. It deepens love even as it erodes the mother’s identity.

124. What universal message does the poem convey?

Love must endure through life’s transformations. Caring for aging parents is both a challenge and a privilege.